The recent story about the mother and child thrown off an airplane because the kid wouldn't stop talking has motivated us to add this "Lighter Side" but still serious project: Air-Lines.

Our first two suggestions to the airlines:

I. Establish a sound-resistant children's section on all aircraft. It is unfair to the 300 or so adult passengers to have their flights ruined by a dozen crying, screaming, seat-back kicking, food throwing infants and children.

I have been on trans-Atlantic flights with babies who did not stop crying for hours at a time, and all their parents could do was smile and apologize. I have been on trans-Pacific flights seated in front of young children who kicked my seat every few minutes, shouted and threw pretty much everything they could find. I asked the parents to get their kids to stop, and even complained to the flight attendants but nothing gave me the peace to which I was entitled as a paying customer of the airline. I arrived exhausted and stressed, and furious!

Why should anyone on any flight be subjected to noise and other annoyances because a parent cannot keep their child quiet and well-behaved? Admittedly this is sometimes impossible, but this doesn't mean that everyone else on the flight should be punished.

For many years, when smoking was still allowed on airplanes, there were smoking sections so that non-smoking passengers would not be subjected to the noxious fumes.

It would not be difficult to seat all children and infants starting in the seats in the rear-most section of the plane, and prohibiting them from entering the adjoining sections. This would eliminate most of the problem, without great difficulty or great expense.

The question is: why didn't one of those excessively highly paid airline executives think of it?

We say Enough Already!

II. Stop charging passengers for excess weight baggage and start weighing the total of passenger and his/her luggage.

It is unfair that someone who weighs 160 lbs and has 40 lbs of luggage is charged $60 for the extra 10 lbs, while someone else who weighs 250 and has 30 lbs of luggage has no surcharge.

It's easy math: 160 + 40 = 200 >$60 surcharge.

                        250 + 30 = 280 > nothing! WHAT??!?!?

If the airlines' justification for excess baggage charges is that fuel is used in proportion to weight carried, then our suggestion makes perfect sense. Charge everyone for the weight they bring on board: passenger, carry-on luggage and checked luggage.

Doesn't this make perfect sense? Isn't the present situation discrimination against those of us who don't overeat, don't drink too much beer and who exercise regularly?

It is time for the airlines to start being equitable and start charging for total on-board weight.

We say Enough Already!

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Last modified: 07/21/07